Friday, 26 April 2013

50 things your toddler does the moment you turn your back

No matter how much you baby proof and supervise somehow they find a way.....

Living Room 

1.      Finds the TV remote and presses buttons that cause the TV to do something you don't know how to fix. Then cries because Cbeebies isn't on. 
2.      Opens all reachable DVD players/ games consoles repeatedly then puts toys on to give the toy a ride. 
3.      Finds the zipper to the bean bag and empties all the beans onto the floor. 
4.      Puts the remote in a toy box/down the back of sofa/ other unreachable place.
5.      Attempts to make a phone call.
6.      Succeeds in making a phone call which you don’t realise.

 Dining Room

7.     Throws their plate on the floor.
8.     Throws your plate on the floor.
9.   Feeds the baby something you weren't planning on feeding the baby.
10.  Uses their dinner to paint pictures on the table.
11.  Then uses their drink to “wash wash” the mess they just made.


12.  Learns to switch pc off. Does so when your attention lapses due to writing long email/forum post/other document about 2 minutes before it would have been finished.
13.  Believes they can use the pc.


14.  Empties the bin.
15.  Finds the flour and makes it “snow”.
16.  Finds the sugar, accidently tastes it and starts eating it.
17.  Helps themselves to any reachable food.
18.  Starts learning to play the drums using the contents of the pan cupboard.
19.  Turns on the washing machine, having added a red sock to the white wash.
20.  Turns off the washing machine which you don’t realise and end up with not enough time to wash and dry the clothes inside for the time they were needed.


21.  Eats dog/cat food.
22.  Eats cat litter.
23.  Empties all the cat biscuits into the water bowl.
24.  Splash splashes the water bowl.
25.  Wears the water bowl as a hat.


26.  Empties out every single toy onto the floor and then uses the toy box as a "boat".
27.  Bites their sibling.
28.  Crawls underneath the babies Jumperoo and ends up getting jumped on.
29.  Draws all over one of their books.
30.  Draws all over one of your books.
31.  Draws all over the wall and then looks for praise for their art work.
32.  Eats the crayon.


33.  Attempts to change their own nappy following a poo.
34.  Removed the baby wipes from the packet one by one.
35.  Throws random things into the bath which is still wet.
36.  Throws random things into the toilet.
37.  Attempts to wash their hands unsupervised. Ends up washing hands, arms, top, legs, floor and anything else within reach.
38.  Attempts to wash hands in the toilet.
39.  Does a convincing impression of the Andrex Puppy with the toilet roll.
40.  Attempts to conceal the evidence that they have just emptied an entire toilet roll by putting it in the toilet.
41.  Empties the contents of any bottle within reach.



42.  Empties all their clothes onto the floor, and then attempts to put them back.
43.  Locates your underwear drawer and mistakes granny pants for hats.  
44.  Jumps on the freshly made bed.
45.  Locates makeup and attempts to use for art work.
46.  Locates “personal” toys, find buzzing amusing and repeatedly goes straight for them whenever they are in the room.
47.  Claims your childhood teddy bear as their own.


48.  Eats mud.
49.  Eats flowers.
50.  Picks flowers to give to you presenting you with a conflict of emotion. 

Based on a combination of experience and stories. 

1 comment: said...

They only managed about 3 of these when I was writing the post.